Humour in Uniform
18 October 2013
His nameplate aroused this great mischief in me. Abdul Ahad Hasnain Haider Baidar Bakht Mohtaram Mirza is way more than a mouthful. It’s a bloody truckload of a name. Even in initials. And so one fateful afternoon as Capt Mohtaram sat there sunning himself and I was on my way to play baseball with the men, I just could not keep myself from doing it. ‘Hello, sir,’ said I. ‘Sir, when you die, people seeing your gravestone will think yours is a mass grave.’ Even as I was delivering this line that had been growing inside me like the Alien monster’s baby, I wanted to shut myself up. But I just could not. ‘Kya buktay ho?’ bawled the good captain. ‘You come to attention, you bloody cunt.’ And then he gave me the worst ever bollocking of my life. It was worse than PMA.
Labels: Humour, Humour in Uniform, Men at Their Best
posted by Salman Rashid @ 12:05,
12 Comments:
- At 18 October 2013 at 12:51, Syed Jaffer said...
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Reading this I recall similar incident minus the Khaki uniform. 1955 I lived in PIB colony and was 10 years of age. being extremely thin could easily go where a cat can make passage. With this ability was handy for the gang we had for activities and hangout. On my way to school daily used to cross a quarter where some government official lived.
Good name of the gentle man was Subhan Chaudhry, he was fond of putting very fancy name plate on his door. Our hobby was to damage his name plate which he would promptly replace with a new and more fancy one. We damaged 8 to 10 name plates when were caught by a senior of the locality and taken to task.
Our activity was just to hide or replace two letter from his name from either of the sides. After taking out 'Su' from beginning and 'ry' from the end what remand was 'bhan choudh'. - At 18 October 2013 at 15:52, Salman Rashid said...
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Pretty good for ten year-olds!
- At 18 October 2013 at 16:31, Masood Mustangs said...
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Yes sir...though I never served with him but grew up in my childhood ... seeing him progressing leaps and bound...
When he joined the unit... I came to know from my father that his first CO called him and told him that ur name might be MOHTARRAM but don't expect from me to be like that for u in a lighter tine...
Then I remember it with pride when he invited me as a.cadet to his place in kakul..jcb...from PMA...because I have always heard very high about my father H/Capt Muhammad Afzal Khan from him and other senior offr of 28 C...
My last hello hi with him was at.karachi when he was comd survey...
Such a humble and nice person he is...
In fact 28c owes everything to these calibre of offrs from raising to 71 war and onward.....though I joined 26c but part of my heart and soul always beat with 28c.....long live 28c.....love 26c - At 18 October 2013 at 16:37, Salman Rashid said...
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Well done, sir. If you ever meet him, ask if he remembers this crazy prank. Did you serve with Lt Col Waqar Haider in 26 Cav? He is a dear friend.
- At 18 October 2013 at 18:35, Lahoremassagist said...
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Hilarious! You were this witty all the way from start?
- At 18 October 2013 at 20:02, Ishrat Ansari said...
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Its been nice to hear some good names through you...Salman (being a coursemate) has been a very close associate since childhood while Brig. Mohattram (NOT Mohtaram, if I correctly understand) from 28-Cav has again been a very good friend though we have not met for a long time...we did TO's together and I still remember his witticism and gags...he was from 44th PMA(?) but surely not from 42nd...now, if I am talking about the same person you are interested in...then let me also tell you his tel. no. which is 0321-2282828...his contact no. also exemplifies his associations with 28-Cav...you may not be able to contact him at the moment 'cos he is abroad...Cheers!
- At 18 October 2013 at 22:18, said...
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In addition to so many other things, Fujis are basically witty. This brought smile to me. Thanks.
- At 18 October 2013 at 23:32, said...
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sir Salman , salam. nice to hear about you and see you through your picture. It took me back to skardu of 1990 when you were staying in K2 motel and we met at Satpara lake. Always stay blessed.
Lt Col ( R) Bashir then a young captain
- At 19 October 2013 at 02:43, Unknown said...
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Hilarious and craftily penned, couldn't stop laughing. btw Which year you passed out from PMA?
- At 19 October 2013 at 12:53, Rashid Zia Cheema said...
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I attended Field Engineering Course with then Capt MOHATAREM (We called him Moti Ram) in Oct 1974 at Risalpur. He is surely from 46 Long Course.
- At 19 October 2013 at 12:54, Salman Rashid said...
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Mansoor, I passed out Apr 1972. Quit Sept 1978.
Ishrat, you may be right about the name. He lived at the end of our bldg; where you and I lived behind Log Area Mess.
Thank you everyone for the laughter. - At 19 October 2013 at 12:56, Salman Rashid said...
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Rashid, I attended a FE course that same time! With K. S. Wynne. Were we together? Mohtaram wasn't there, though.
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