Politicians!

My old chum Patrick Smethurst, he originally of Tumbridge Wells, once-upon-a-time teacher at Beaconhouse Schools in Lahore where he tried to get some sense of geography into a nation that cares naught for this wonderfully intriguing and edifying subject, has today sent me word on ‘Post Tortoises’.

Paddy (as we call him) says that is the way British parliamentarians are. If they are like that, ours can only be far worse. I once thought that the best description for politicians is: ‘Politicians are like a bunch of bananas. They hang together, they’re all yellow and there’s not a straight one amongst them.’

But what Paddy sends is far more appropriate for politicians anywhere in the world – evermore for ours. Read and look around and you’ll find this country crawling with post tortoises. For this enlightenment, don’t forget to say thank you to the good man Patrick Smethurst in old Blighty.

Post Tortoise

An elderly farmer was in the Emergency Ward having stitches put in his hand, due to an accident with a piece of machinery.

The doctor carrying out the procedure struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, "Well, you know, most Politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.''

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'Post Tortoise' was.

The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."

The old farmer, seeing the puzzled look on the doctor's face, continued to explain.

"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumbass put him up there to begin with."

Best explanation I've heard yet.